Love Quotes

Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!
~ from the movie Moulin Rouge ~

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Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
~ by G. Moore ~

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I would fly you to the moon and back if you'll be . . . if you'll be my baby.
~ From a song by Savage Garden ~

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I love you - those three words have my life in them.
~ by Alexandrea to Nicholas III ~

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What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

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I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion -
I have shudder'd at it.
I shudder no more.
I could be martyr'd for my religion

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Love is my religion
And I could die for that.
I could die for you.
~ by John Keats ~

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I'd like to run away
From you,
But if you didn't come
And find me ...
I would die.
~ by Shirley Bassey ~

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When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
~ by Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) ~

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The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is to love and be loved in return.
~ From "Unforgettable with Love" by Natalie Cole

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Soul meets soul on lover's lips.
~ by Percy Bysshe Shelly ~

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I have found men who didn't know how to kiss.
I've always found time to teach them.
~ by Mae West ~

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No man is truly married
until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
~ by Unknown ~

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You will never know true happiness
until you have truly loved,
and you will never understand
what pain really is
until you have lost it.
~ by Anonymous ~

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To live is like to love -
all reason is against it,
and all healthy instinct for it.
~ by Samuel Butler, Life and love ~

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....A simple I love you means more than money....
~ by Frank Sinatra ~

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True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist,
Nor can it be hidden where it truly does.
~ by Anonymous ~

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Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage...
~ by Ambrose Bierce ~

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To be in love is merely to be
In a state of perpetual anesthesia:
To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god
Or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
~ by H.L. Mencken ~

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Life without love is like a tree
Without blossom and fruit.
~ by Khalil Gibra ~

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I love thee, I love but thee
With a love that shall not die
Till the sun grows cold
And the stars grow old.
~ by Willam Shakespeare ~

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Love is like war,
Easy to begin but hard to end.
~ by Anonymous ~

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Seduce my mind and you can have my body,
Find my soul and I'm yours forever.
~ by Anonymous ~

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So dear I love him that with him,
All deaths I could endure.
Without him, live no life.
~ by William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet ~

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Love is like a friendship caught on fire.
In the beginning a flame, very pretty,
Often hot and fierce,
But still only light and flickering.
As love grows older,
Our hearts mature
And our love becomes as coals,
Deep-burning and unquenchable.
~ by Bruce Lee ~

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I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love.
~ by F. Sagan ~

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She walks in beauty,
Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes.
~ by Byron ~

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Your voice makes me tremble inside
And your smile is an invitation
For my imagination to go wild.
~ by Anonymous ~

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One word frees us
Of all the weight and pain in life,
That word is Love
~ by Socrates ~

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I have learned not to worry about love;
But to honor its coming with all my heart.
~ by Alice Walker ~

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To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.
~ by Anonymous ~

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Did my heart love till now?
Forswear it sight,
For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.
~ Romeo, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare ~

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The most precious possession that ever comes
To a man in this world
Is a woman's heart.
~ by Josiah G. Holland ~

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And think not you can
Direct the course of love,
For love,
If it finds you worthy,
Directs your course.
~ by Gibran Kahlil Gibran ~

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Love is a wonderful thing.
You never have to take it away
From one person to give it to another.
There's always more than enough to go around.
~ by Pamela de Roy ~

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Love asks me no questions,
And gives me endless support...
~ by William Shakespeare ~

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A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature
To stop speech when words become superfluous.
~ by Ingrid Bergman ~

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Love is like a rumor,
Everyone talks about it,
But no one truly knows.
~ by Anonymous ~

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Love is like swallowing hot chocolate
Before it has cooled off.
It takes you by surprise at first,
But keeps you warm for a long time.
~ by Anonymous ~

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My love for you is a journey;
Starting at forever,
And ending at never.
~ by Anonymous ~

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Love is a haunting melody
That I have never mastered
And I fear I never will.
~ by William S. Burroughs ~

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A fool in love makes no sense to me.
I only think you are a fool
If you do not love.
~ by Anonymous ~

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Once in awhile,
Right in the middle of an ordinary life,
Love gives us a fairy tale.
~ by Anonymous ~

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True poets don't write
Their thoughts with a pen...
They release the ink that flows
From within their heart.
~ by Anonymous ~

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The only things in life you regret,
Are the risks that you didn't take.
~ by Anonymous ~

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You love simply because you cannot help it.
~ by Kim Anderson ~

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The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
~ by Hubert Humprey ~

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Hearts are not to be had as a gift
earts are to be earned...
~ by William Butler Yeats ~

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True love doesn't have a happy ending:
True love doesn't have an ending.
~ by Anonymous ~

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You don't love a woman because she's beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her.
~ by Anonymous ~

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Love is not a matter of counting the years...
But making the years count.
~ by Michelle St. Amand ~

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Only love let's us see normal things
In an extraordinary way.
~ by Anonymous ~

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A heart that loves is always young.
~ by A Greek Proverb ~

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To get the full value of joy
You must have someone to divide it with.
~ by Mark Twain ~

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Love doesn't sit there like a stone.
It has to be made like bread;
Remade all the time,
...Made new.
~ by Le Guin ~

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My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep;
The more I give to thee
The more I have,
For both are infinite.
~ by William Shakespeare ~

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Love is that condition in which
The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.
~ by Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land ~

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I only wish to be the fountain of love
From which you drink,
Every drop promising eternal passion.
~ by Unknown Author ~

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If I know what love is,
It is because of you.
~ by Herman Hesse ~

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You may only be one person to the world
But you may also be the world to one person.
~ by Anonymous ~

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A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart.
~ by Anonymous ~

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Age does not protect us from love,
But love to some extent protects us from age.
~ by Anonymous ~

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You can give without loving,
But you cannot love without giving.
~ by Amy Carmichael ~

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There are no guarantees.
From the viewpoint of fear,
None are strong enough.
From the viewpoint of love,
None are necessary.
~ by Anonymous ~

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To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
~ by Karen Sunde ~

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Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself
But if your love and must needs have desires,
Let these be your desires:

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To melt and be like a running brook

That sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart

And give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer

For the beloved in your heart

And a song of praise upon your lips.
~ by Gibran Kahlil Gibran ~

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Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it .. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
~ by The Holy Bible, New International Version Ephesians 5:25-33 ~

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Love doesn't make the world go round,
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
~ by Elizabeth Browning ~

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Love me without fear
Trust me without questioning
Need me without demanding
Want me without restrictions
Accept me without change
Desire me without inhibitions
For a love so free....
Will never fly away.
~ by Dick Sutphen ~

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Love is a burning desire,
That makes your heart light on fire,
Love is being with you,
Someone saying I love you too,
Love is your tender kiss,
Something you don't want to miss,
Love is you and me,
And that is all I see.
~ by Anonymous ~

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If I go away
What would still remain of me?
The ghost within your eyes?
The whisper in your sighs?
You see...Believe
And I'm always there.
~ by Jon Oliva ~

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The greatest weakness of most humans
Is their hesitancy to tell others,
How much they love them
While they're alive.
~ by O.A. Battista ~

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My love, you know you are my best friend.
You know that I'd do anything for you
And my love, let nothing come between us.
My love for you is strong and true.
~ by Sarah McLachlan ~

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I sought for Love
But Love ran away from me.
I sought my Soul
But my Soul I couldn't see.
Then I sought You,
And I found all three.
~ by Unknown Author ~

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The best feelings are those that
Have no words to describe them....
~ by Michelle Hammersley ~

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Let the world stop turning,
Let the sun stop burning,
Let them tell me love's not worth going through.
If it all falls apart,
I will know deep in my heart,
The only dream that mattered had come true
...In this life I was loved by you.
~ by Bette Midler ~

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We are all born for love...
it is the principle existence and it's only end.
~ by Disraeli ~

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We can only learn to love by loving.
~ by Iris Murdoch ~

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May no gift be too small to give,
nor too simple to receive,
which is wrapped in thoughtfulness
and tied with love.
~ by L.O. Baird ~

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Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
~ by Oliver Wendell Holmes ~

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The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.
~ by Maulana Jalalu'ddin Rumi ~

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Love is a fruit in season at all times,
and within the reach of every hand.
~ by Mother Teresa ~

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Since love grows within you, so beauty grows.
For love is the beauty of the soul.
~ by St. Augustine ~

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What the heart gives away is never gone ...
It is kept in the hearts of others.
~ by Robin St. John ~

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The human heart, at whatever age,
opens to the heart that opens in return.
~ by Maria Edgeworth ~

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Accept the things
To which fate binds you and
Love the people with whom fate
Brings you together
But do so with all your heart.
~ by Marcus Aurelius ~

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Love, you know, seeks to make happy rather than to be happy.
~ by Ralph Connor ~

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Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
~ by Thomas Fuller ~

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The night has a thousand eyes, And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies, With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies, When love is done.
~ by Francis W. Bourdillon ~

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Paradise is always where love dwells.
~ by Jean Paul F. Richter ~

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True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart.
~ Honore de Balzac ~

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The greatest tragedy of life is not that men perish,
but that they cease to love.
~ by W. Somerset Maugham ~

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Romantic love is a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person.
~ by Nathaniel Branden ~

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Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.
~ by J. Isham ~

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~ by Lao Tzu ~

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Even though there may be times
It seems I'm far away
Never wonder where I am
'Cause I am always by your side.
~ by Celine Dion (The Power of Love) ~

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Things base and vile, holding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity.
Love looks not with the eye, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
~ by William Shakespeare ~

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A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason - and indeed all the sweets of life.
~ by Joseph Addison (The Spectator Magazine) ~

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Love does not die easily.
It is a living thing.
It thrives in the face
of all life's hazards,
save one--neglect.
~ by James Bryden ~

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Some pray to marry the man they love,
my prayer will somewhat vary:
I humbly pray to Heaven above
that I love the man I marry.
~ by Rose Stokes ~

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The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.
~ by Unknown ~

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Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low.
~ by Henry Ward Beecher ~

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The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
~ by Pearl S. Buck ~

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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
~ by 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ~

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All love that has not friendship for its base,
is like a mansion built upon the sand.
~ by Ella Wheeler Wilcox ~

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Love is the emblem of eternity: it confounds all notion of time: effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.
~ by Germaine De Stael ~

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Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
~ by Samuel Lover ~

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The life and love we create is the life and love we live.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

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Love looks through a telescope; envy through a microscope.
~ by Josh Billings ~

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For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.
~ by Ivan Panin ~

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Love puts the fun in together,
The sad in apart,
The hope in tomorrow,
The joy in the heart.
~ by Anonymous ~

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A goal, a love and a dream give you total control over your body and your life.
~ by John Wayne Schlatter ~

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Opposites attract, but after marriage, opposites attack. Most of the time, we are attracted to people who don't have the things that we have. Incompatibility is why we get married, but it's also used as a reason to divorce.
Incompatibility is just a lack of communication. If we just try to love [our spouse] the way we want to be loved, we are in trouble. Unless you communicate, it's difficult to know how to love another person.
~ by Dr. Charles Lowery ~

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True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.
~ by Antoine De Saint-Exupery ~

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In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.
~ by Janos Arany ~

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Just because someone doesn't love you
in the way you want them to,
doesn't mean that they don't love you
with all they've got.
~ by Author unknown ~

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Love withers with predictability; its very essence is surprise and amazement. To make love a prisoner of the mundane is to take its passion and lose it forever.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

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Smile at each other, smile at your wife,
smile at your husband, smile at your children,
smile at each other--it doesn't matter who it is--
and that will help you to grow up in greater love
for each other.
~ by Mother Teresa ~

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A man falls in love through his eyes,
a woman through her ears.
~ by Woodrow Wyatt ~

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Love knows no reasons,
love knows no lies.
Love defies all reasons,
love has no eyes.
But love is not blind,
love sees but doesn't mind.
~ by Author unknown ~

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Love is sometimes denied, sometimes lost,
sometimes unrecognized, but in the end,
always found with no regrets, forever valued
and kept treasured.
~ by Unknown ~

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Sometimes we let affection,
go unspoken,
Sometimes we let our love
go unexpressed,
Sometimes we can't find words to tell
our feelings,
Especially towards those
we love the best.
~ by Author unknown ~

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The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.
~ by Sir Hugh Walpole ~

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Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
~ by Erich Fromm ~

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Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, I'll look inside mine.
~ by Steve Winwood ~

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Love does not consist in gazing at each other
but in looking together in the same direction.
~ by Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~

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You come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
~ by Sam Keen ~

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Love is always bestowed as a gift --
freely, willingly, and without expectation....
We don't love to be loved; we love to love.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

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Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.
~ by Elbert Hubbard ~

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The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable.
~ by Victor Hugo ~

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Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.
~ by Rev Ed Hird ~

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True happiness and a fullness of joy can be found only in the tender and intimate relationships of the family. However earnestly we may seek success and happiness outside the home through work, leisure activities, or large bank accounts, we will never be fully satisfied emotionally until we develop deep and loving relationships.
~ by James J. Jones Ph.D. ~

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The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart.
~ by Josiah G. Holland ~

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What we need to know about loving is no great mystery. We all know what constitutes loving behavior; we need but act upon it, not continually question it. Over-analysis often confuses the issue and in the end brings us no closer to insight. We sometimes become too busy classifying, separating, and examining, to remember that love is easy. It's we who make it complicated.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

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Romantic love reaches out in little ways, showing attention and admiration. Romantic love remembers what pleases a woman, what excites her, and what surprises her. Its actions whisper: you are the most special person in my life.
~ by Charles Stanley ( A Man's Touch) ~

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From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.
~ by Unknown ~

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It is the things in common
that make relationships enjoyable,
but it is the little differences
that make them interesting.
~ by Todd Ruthman ~

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Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

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My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key.
~ by Frederick Saunders ~

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The heart is the place where we live our passions. It is frail and easily broken, but wonderfully resilient. There is no point in trying to deceive the heart. It depends upon our honesty for its survival.
~ by Leo Buscaglia (Born For Love) ~

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There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
~ by George Sand ~

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Love is an act of endless forgiveness
A tender look which becomes a habit.
~ by Peter Ustinov ~

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The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.
~ by Helen Keller ~

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The courses of true love never did run smooth.
~ by William Shakespeare ~

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But true love is a durable fire,
In the mind ever burning,
Never sick, never old, never dead,
From itself never turning.
~ by Sir Walter Raleigh ~

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Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.
~ by Flavia Weedn ~

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Funny Marriage Quotes

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.



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My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled, "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong."



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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.



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Honolulu — it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.


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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.



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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish...



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Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.



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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.


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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."



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After an acquaintance of ten minutes, many women will exchange confidences that a man would not reveal to a lifelong friend.



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The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.



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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henry Youngman



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"I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go." Rose in Titanic. Several seconds later, poor little Jack sinks to the bottom of the Atlantic...


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An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie



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Women like silent men, they think they're listening.



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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I

go Fridays."


Henry Youngman.

*

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If a man is talking in the woods and no woman hears him... is he still wrong?



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I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.


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I fell in love at first sight… I should have looked twice.



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Before marriage a man yearns for a woman after marriage the ‘y’ is silent .



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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher

. Socrates

Funny Love Quotes

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie
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Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
-- Albert Einstein
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Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
-- Anonymous
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
-- Anonymous
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The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."
-- Anonymous
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No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
-- Anonymous
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Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks

and sneakers behind along the way.
-- Anonymous
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When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.
-- Anonymous
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Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!
-- Anonymous
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You can't buy love on eBay.
-- Anonymous
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If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
-- Bette Midler
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A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
-- Brendan Francis
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Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
-- Cathy Carlyle
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Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan
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The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher
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Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.
-- Cher
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By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
-- Dorothy Parker
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I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands.
-- Dudley Moore
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-- Erma Bombeck
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone

that you really saw.
-- Fran Lebowitz
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It is impossible to love and be wise.
-- Francis Bacon
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Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
-- Fulton J. Sheen
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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin
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Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.
-- Glenn Beck
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I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx
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Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-- Henry Kissinger
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When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you.
And she never did.
-- James Fineous McBride
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Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything

else in the house.
-- Jean Kerr
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Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-- Joan Crawford
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It's been so long since I made love,
I can't even remember who gets tied up.
-- Joan Rivers
------------------------------------
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
-- Joan Rivers
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You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll
--------------------------------------
No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
-- Joyce Brothers
--------------------------------------------
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
-- Katharine Hepburn
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True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
-- La Rochefoucauld
-------------------------------------
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
-- Lily Tomlin
------------------------------------------
The only people who make love all the time are liars.
-- Louis Jordan
------------------------------------
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.
-- Natalie Wood
----------------------------------------
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
-- Oscar Wilde
--------------------------------------
Love is a grave mental disease.
-- Plato
------------------------------------
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner
-------------------------------------
All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
-- Shelley Winters
----------------------------------------
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin
---------------------------------------
A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.
-- Thomas Hardy
-----------------------------------
Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.
-- Tommy Dewar
--------------------------------------
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
-- W. Somerset Maugham
----------------------------------------
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney
------------------------------------------
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
-- Woody Allen
----------------------------------------------
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
-- Woody Allen
------------------------------------------
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen
----------------------------------------
The sincerest love is the love of food.

Bernard Shaw .

***********





Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

Josh Billings

***********



When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.



***********



Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener! Unknown



***********



The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What ..does a woman want?''

-- Freud

***********



Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."


***********

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

***********



When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him

***********





Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for."

Mae West

***********





Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Ambrose Bierce

***********



Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law

***********



Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner

***********



Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

***********


Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred

***********



Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

-Oscar Wilde

***********



A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—

Zsa Zsa Gabor

***********



My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.

-Rodney Dangerfield

***********



The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

Coleridge

***********



One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

Benjamin Franklin

***********



.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henry Youngman

***********



Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller

***********



If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would

bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.

***********



If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

***********



Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will

not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
Hellfire Hotchkiss

***********



All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

Lord Byron

***********



"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante.

***********



Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein - Funny Love Quotes

***********



Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Anonymous

***********



Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus

***********



Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's

what it means."
George Burns.

***********



Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
George Burns.

***********



I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray.

***********



In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."

Woody Allen.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once

***********

Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths

Anon

***********

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

***********

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

***********

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence

***********



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

***********



A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

unknown

***********

I think, therefore I'm single.


I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.
Mae West [Add to favorites]
You call it madness, but I call it love.
Don Byas
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
Woodrow Wyatt
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
Mae West [Add to favorites]
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
Henry Louis Mencken [Add to favorites]
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
Ben Hecht
Love is being stupid together.
Paul Valery
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it
a few times.
Rita Rudner
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
Pearl Bailey



Love doesn't make the world go round,
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
________________________________________________
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
________________________________________________
Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!
________________________________________________
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
________________________________________________
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.